Some information and sharing some personal thoughts to ponder
It wasn't until many, many years later after John and Martha's divorce that I realized that we lived as church members having a different mind set - than those who are supported by the offerings of the people. Martha was accustomed to living a certain life style - what most of us back in the day - would call a lavish life style and the courts whether one's a ministry or not - takes into account the assets of the divorcing couple and divides the assets between them - that can be legally divided.
Martha wanted 1/2 of the assets - and in court, she also asked for the money she was accustomed to have - during their marriage - to purchase very expensive ballroom gowns as part of the settlement.It was at this time I was surprised to learn that Martha lived a life I knew nothing about. Martha must have loved to dance. So naturally in my thinking , I took John's side because John supported and promoted living a life of sacrifice in order to fulfill the vision he had given every one to believe for and I was living a life of sacrifice to the point I could make something almost out of nothing and remained happy doing so because it was in my thinking, for a greater good. I chose to live poor and did not count it as living a life of sacrifice - when I was living that life. Since I came into the church having nothing - I did not know about having anything - so I did not count myself as being poor - for I had grown up poor and did not know the meaning of poor.
But it wasn't until many years later that I realized that John himself had stopped living a life of sacrifice - when everything he needed was bought and paid for - for him and especially when he began to have servants attending to him, and to everything that he had come to own and was given through the offerings of the people. Martha enjoyed what she wanted to enjoy while they were being supported and it is only natural that Martha felt entitled to have half of what had been theirs - since she lived many years married to John when life was difficult - during his early years as a ministry when he and Martha did not know how they were going to pay the rent or if they would be able to put food on the table for themselves or their children because John chose his profession to be the ministry.
I was naive - simple minded - uneducated - un-experienced in life - and I was surprised everytime I realized something was not as I thought it was - when I started - thinking for myself - after I stopped being active as a member. When the light goes on and I realize something more about life - I am still surprised to realize today how much I do not know about life and the world I am living in.
It was a later date (when I realized ) that I did not understand - the world I was living in and how it worked. Nor did I have the ability or knowledge enough thru life's experiences (during the years of my youth) to have the discernment and good judgment I needed to be able to make wise and sensible decisions for the well being of myself or my family. Not that I had the power to determine the direction of my life - I was positioned by John thru the prophecies and personal ministry he spoke over me when he called me up on the platform to minister to me -John positioned me to be a servant and a support for my spouse - to free my spouse to serve in the ministry, unhindered and as if unmarried - yet married.
In John's thinking - I believe he believed that there was nothing more important than his (John's) preaching, teaching, orchestrating and directing people to live the best way he thought was the way to live one's life and to serve the Lord.
I also believe he was a lonely man that needed constant support and assurance that he was loved and all that he was given and all that he enjoyed including the affection of a multitude of people did not satisfy what was missing in his own life. But I think he was trying to find it.
But I think the problem was that John also was sacrificing himself and those he loved in order to fulfill what he believed was more important than his own self and his own family.
And so I considered this, that God did not discount humanity as being less - but loved the world and gave His only begotten Son to save all from themselves and the misunderstandings they have about the life they were given as a free gift from HIM to live.It says - God does not delight Himself in sacrifice and whole burnt offerings - which man continually tries to give Him when relating to Him as God, while living this life.
It wasn't until many, many years later after John and Martha's divorce that I realized that we lived as church members having a different mind set - than those who are supported by the offerings of the people. Martha was accustomed to living a certain life style - what most of us back in the day - would call a lavish life style and the courts whether one's a ministry or not - takes into account the assets of the divorcing couple and divides the assets between them - that can be legally divided.
Martha wanted 1/2 of the assets - and in court, she also asked for the money she was accustomed to have - during their marriage - to purchase very expensive ballroom gowns as part of the settlement.It was at this time I was surprised to learn that Martha lived a life I knew nothing about. Martha must have loved to dance. So naturally in my thinking , I took John's side because John supported and promoted living a life of sacrifice in order to fulfill the vision he had given every one to believe for and I was living a life of sacrifice to the point I could make something almost out of nothing and remained happy doing so because it was in my thinking, for a greater good. I chose to live poor and did not count it as living a life of sacrifice - when I was living that life. Since I came into the church having nothing - I did not know about having anything - so I did not count myself as being poor - for I had grown up poor and did not know the meaning of poor.
But it wasn't until many years later that I realized that John himself had stopped living a life of sacrifice - when everything he needed was bought and paid for - for him and especially when he began to have servants attending to him, and to everything that he had come to own and was given through the offerings of the people. Martha enjoyed what she wanted to enjoy while they were being supported and it is only natural that Martha felt entitled to have half of what had been theirs - since she lived many years married to John when life was difficult - during his early years as a ministry when he and Martha did not know how they were going to pay the rent or if they would be able to put food on the table for themselves or their children because John chose his profession to be the ministry.
I was naive - simple minded - uneducated - un-experienced in life - and I was surprised everytime I realized something was not as I thought it was - when I started - thinking for myself - after I stopped being active as a member. When the light goes on and I realize something more about life - I am still surprised to realize today how much I do not know about life and the world I am living in.
It was a later date (when I realized ) that I did not understand - the world I was living in and how it worked. Nor did I have the ability or knowledge enough thru life's experiences (during the years of my youth) to have the discernment and good judgment I needed to be able to make wise and sensible decisions for the well being of myself or my family. Not that I had the power to determine the direction of my life - I was positioned by John thru the prophecies and personal ministry he spoke over me when he called me up on the platform to minister to me -John positioned me to be a servant and a support for my spouse - to free my spouse to serve in the ministry, unhindered and as if unmarried - yet married.
In John's thinking - I believe he believed that there was nothing more important than his (John's) preaching, teaching, orchestrating and directing people to live the best way he thought was the way to live one's life and to serve the Lord.
I also believe he was a lonely man that needed constant support and assurance that he was loved and all that he was given and all that he enjoyed including the affection of a multitude of people did not satisfy what was missing in his own life. But I think he was trying to find it.
But I think the problem was that John also was sacrificing himself and those he loved in order to fulfill what he believed was more important than his own self and his own family.
And so I considered this, that God did not discount humanity as being less - but loved the world and gave His only begotten Son to save all from themselves and the misunderstandings they have about the life they were given as a free gift from HIM to live.It says - God does not delight Himself in sacrifice and whole burnt offerings - which man continually tries to give Him when relating to Him as God, while living this life.